RELATIONSHIP

How To Deal With Jealousy in a Relationship By Hazel Christine Herber

2011-07-18T04:24:00.000-07:00

To know how to deal with jealousy in a relationship, you must identify the root cause. Is the jealousy caused by the behavior of your current partner? Is it a result of being burned in your past relationship? Or is it just plain insecurity within you?

How To Deal with Jealousy in a Relationship because of your partner's behavior

Is your partner the flirty type? Or has your partner broken your trust? Either way if he or she has given you a reason to be jealous and suspicious, jealousy due to this cannot be resolved by you alone. You need to constantly communicate with your partner this feeling and that he or she knows that if you are both to save the relationship, the offending or faltering partner needs to know that he or she has to work doubly hard to earn your trust again, creating, setting agreements to rebuild trust. This does not happen overnight and is a working progress.

The offending partner more than ever needs to know that you need constant reassurance and to win back your trust through transparency and openness. At this point be aware that because of a broken trust, you will tend to have a controlling behavior which might kill the relationship. Being aware of this will help you from being controlling.

Dealing with jealousy due to being burned in a past relationship is however a different matter. You should not come in a new relationship carrying jealousy issues over a past love, and learn to give your new partner a clean slate without casting on him/her a fault of someone else. Nevertheless, it helps to communicate this to your partner so that he/she understands you and can help you heal as you help yourself also get over this fear.

How to get over jealousy due to own insecurity

This stems from lack of self-confidence, and as such, you need to address your esteem issues. Strive to be the best of yourself in every aspect, taking care of yourself physically, cultivating your strengths whether it be at school, work, sports or hobbies. Socialize with friends so as not to put too much focus on your partner - one should never totally build one's life entirely around your partner alone. You both need independent interests to have a healthy relationship too. And this will keep you from nitpicking on every move your partner makes.

Jealousy is a serious issue and should be dealt with early on, and certainly knowing the root cause always helps one to deal with jealousy in a relationship.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6411770

Does He Love Me - How To Know Without a Doubt If His Devotion Is Real or Fake By Breanne Katherine

2011-07-18T04:23:00.000-07:00

We women pride ourselves on having an exceptional intuition when it comes to many circumstances and life events, however nothing is harder to read than the inner thoughts of a man.

Especially when it's a man we are extremely interested in and are hoping that he feels the same in return.

To make things even more difficult; men don't express themselves quite as vocally or as obviously as we would sometimes like them too. However on the plus side, most men do give some tell-tale signs that they are inexplicably falling for someone if they exhibit one or more of the following traits:

First off, actions speak louder than words!

This is especially true in a number of ways aside from the classic phone call, text message, door opening and chair presenting. His actions will do all the talking and 'expressing' for him.

One dead giveaway is if he isn't afraid to show some form of public affection.

How sweet and comforted does it make us feel when men hold our hands, lock an arm in ours, or embrace us from any direction? What about the way they kiss us sweetly on the lips before every departure, upon every arrival, and at all the best times?

Well they aren't as clueless to our feelings as they sometimes let on because they know we love these small gestures of affection.

They know that tucking that flyaway hair behind our ear and massaging our shoulders when tension creeps up will make us that much more appreciative, thus falling into the throe's of momentary elation/gratitude, and everlasting attraction.

Another definite measure some men take to express the level of their love is when they begin to offer gifts, of any nature, to the woman they fancy. He may go out of his way to figure out what you love and what you hold dear just to surprise you with something similar and completely unexpected.

He knows this would completely brighten your day and leave a fresh impression of him on your mind for its remainder.

The more creative kind might make something hand-made out of his own artistic abilities just to impress you with something more personally sentimental. Still others may actually shower you with gifts in his desperation to prove just how much he is devoted and willing to make you his!

This is especially true if he happens to remember special dates such as birthdays and anniversaries, and makes sure ahead of time that he has planned something special just to prove, without words, that he has remembered.

Do you ever wake up to see his smiling face looking at yours and pondering how it was he managed to get so lucky? If so, you can bet your bottom dollar that he truly is counting his lucky stars whenever he meets your gaze.

As 'creeper-ish' as it might seem at first - several men, on occasion, watch as their partner sleeps. In fact, their intention is entirely opposite of being creepy as they only do this to revel in the fact that you have chosen him to spend your time, or perhaps your very life with, and nothing makes him happier!

Perhaps you may catch him stealing a sneak peek at you from the side as you absorb yourself in whatever it is your currently doing. Not always, but a lot of the time men may do this discreetly as you engage yourself in conversation with someone else, make certain decisions, or perform a specific action.

Believe it or not, this is mainly because he finds himself in sudden awe of your beauty, admires your prowess and personally feels more honored, worthy, and happy to be within your company.

Sidelong glances and lingering gazes of sheer adoration prove just how much he can never get enough of your effervescent charm.

Most importantly is whether or not he accepts you for who you are. Not only the person you may have been in the past, nor the one you aspire to be in the future, but the one he currently interacts with at any given moment.

This is the person he must learn to love and respect, honor and cherish until his dying breath. So if he learns to accept you and every single one of your flaws and imperfections, big and/or small - he is a definite keeper!

Most flaws are overlooked upon the initial beginning of most relationships, either because they are not yet evident or because they have not been a cause for concern. Over time however, this may change.

This is why it is encouraged by many people to wait up to six months if not more, before deciding if he is really the one for you. This way you both have plenty of time to learn about each others previous mistakes, future concerns, insecurities, and any other shortcomings you deem appropriate.

If after all that he is still standing strong by your side; he must truly be falling, and falling hard!

On rare occasions however, some men may still not be ready for a full-time commitment. He may show all the signs that he is absolutely in love and even honestly mean it when he says he is in love with you, just not quite yet ready to settle down.

Top 5 Reasons Why a Man Will Not Call You Back. By Breanne Katherine

2011-07-18T04:20:00.000-07:00

As much as you may not wish to hear it, waiting beside the phone for hours on end just hoping it will ring is not going to magically persuade him to call you any sooner.

Have you not heard? He has things to do, people to see, and other problems to worry about besides bothering with how you feel and what you are doing.

At least that is the way it can sometimes feel...

When men don't call you back for one reason or another, especially when they said they would, it hurts. It can leave you feeling numb, neglected or even forgotten.

You might begin to ask yourself if you said something wrong, did something to offend him, or if he blatantly does not like you and didn't have the guts to tell you before the end of your date.

Whatever his excuse may be, try not to judge him too harshly until you get the opportunity to speak with him yourself, or confer through other sources (such as his friends, etc.) what his intentions may be.

The reason behind his not calling could mean something both positive and/or negative. It is up to you to correctly analyze your given situation and determine under which of the following categories your man lies, and how to react accordingly;

1. He May Just Be Busy

Relax, girlie! If it has only been a little while since you last seen him then maybe he just has a lot of other things on his plate right now. Think back to your last date with him, did he talk with you about a lot of different activities he is involved with at the moment?

If that is the case, you can feel damn lucky he 'scheduled' you in for a date at all, that must mean he really is interested in you.

Take a breather, go occupy yourself with something in the meantime and he will eventually call.

2. He May Not Want To Come Off as Desperate

Guys aren't entirely unlike girls. If a guy happens to find himself in a situation with a girl that he deems 'out of his league', he may just play it cool so as not to come off as too desperate.

If you put yourself in his position you would probably do the same thing, no? He found himself a girl that he is totally into and instead of scaring her off by appearing as 'too infatuated' too fast - he'll play it cool so to keep you interested as well.

Give him some time to decide when and how he chooses to call you back; he could be feeling very nervous and uncomfortable, so let him take time to be mentally and emotionally prepared for the next step.

If he hasn't called you within a week you can probably feel it safe enough to call and inquire how he has been doing, as well as discern whether he is still interested or not.

3. He May Be Emotionally Hurt

Once again, think back to the last time you had to spend with him. Did things end on a high or a low note? If something was said out of line or if one of you was too forward too quickly and the other withdrew, it could have hurt his pride a little.

He may be taking a step back to analyze the situation, and to defend his heart from further torment by putting you through the anxiety of his not calling (unbeknownst to him or not).

If this is the case, he may either be completely distraught that he wants nothing to do with you or he may be waiting for an apology. Either way, with this kind of situation, it may be best if you go ahead and call.

You might have to swallow your pride so to be the first one who calls after an argument - because if you want to get back on good terms you sometimes have to be the one to make the first move.

Find out if he is willing to talk things out, apologize and say your peace and hopefully he'll come through.

If he doesn't, then either give it some more time before trying again, or just let the situation go completely until he decides what he wants.

4. He May Want To Slow Things Down

True love is meant to last and you either have it, or have the capacity to develop it - or you don't. If you do, then there is all the time in the world to get to know each other, make dates and create memories.

Perhaps he just came out of a previous relationship and he actually has an interest in you. He doesn't want you to feel as though you've become a rebound for him so instead he chooses to take the relationship at an easier pace.

Give him some time, only call if you haven't heard from him within a week or two and only if you have a genuine interest in wanting to know how he is and not why he hasn't called yet.

5. He Just Might Not Be That Into You

It's hard to take, hard to hear and hard to believe but sometimes we just need to face the facts.

Why waste time pursuing someone who has no intention of taking it to the next level? Hell, if he can't even call you back, why waste another second even thinking his name?

Forget about him, move on with your life; there are hundreds of thousands of mermen in the sea and hundreds of them would line up for a 'call', and for a chance to leave you a single message on your voicemail!

Stop pacing around your phone, liberate yourself now by deleting his contact and vowing to replace it with another number by the end of the week.

In fact, if you want to know how to practically overload your phone's memory with an excess of male phone numbers, there is an easy way! Right now, you could learn how to make men beg for your digits and you call you back every single time!

How?

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Can a Woman Change a Man? Get the Real Answer to This Question Right Here By Scarlet Hall

2011-03-25T04:55:00.000-07:00

"If only he did this one thing for me life would be so much better"

"I really wish he can love me the way I love him, I know he will change someday."

"I know if I push hard enough he will eventually change."

I am sure you've often asked yourself the same questions as well. I am sure you have sat there and dreamed all day long about how your life would be so much better if only your man did certain things differently.

Now the big question is - Can a woman really change a man? Is it true that if you knock on the door long enough and hard enough someone will actually answer?

Well let me share some advice which will help you a lot...

He won't change because you want him to. He will only change when he is ready -

First of all please understand - You don't control his mind, you don't run his life and you can't make him do things unless he personally wants to do them.

He is another human being and his life decisions will be completely out of your control just like your life decisions are completely out of his control.

Sure both of you can influence each other but that doesn't mean that one or both of you will do everything exactly as the other partner pleases.

If you are sitting there hoping that some day your man will change for you then you are knocking on the wrong door. And here is the big thing - Men do sometimes change but often that change is short lived.

Very soon they return back to their old behavior. Again I am not saying that all men are like this. There are men out there who do change for their partner but it's not very common.

So can a woman really change a man? Well in one word - NO! And even if she does attempt it's going to be one big hill climb and in the end the reward might not be what she expected. Here is why...

You will always feel unhappy if you depend on him to make you happy...

It's normal to have expectations from your partner, it's normal to look up to them for a lot of things but the big problem is this - Some women completely depend on their partner for emotional satisfaction and always find themselves in constant pain because of it.

Here is some truth for you - A relationship can never make you happy.

I am sure you've heard this before a million times but this statement is extremely significant.

Your partner can't do everything exactly as you want him to therefore there will be some disappointment along the way. And you just can't change that.

The only way to be happy in a relationship is to first accept that your partner has flaws and will do things you don't like or agree with. It's just a normal part of being in a relationship. If you can't handle this truth then you will always end up with unhappiness and disappointment.

Important points -

* A woman can not change a man to match her preferences. Even if a man does change temporarily he will always return back to his old self sooner or later. It's better to change yourself and accept that your partner wouldn't change instead of wasting energy on trying to change him.
* If you are constantly trying to change your man then the whole foundation of your relationship is already flawed. A relationship only works when two partners accept each other the way they are. The moment you try to change your man you can start counting the days before your relationship ends.
* If you believe that when your man will change life is going to be so much better then you are day dreaming. Life won't get better when your man will change, it will actually get better when you change.
* Don't give your emotional power away by depending on him too much for happiness. True happiness only comes from the inside and not anything outside of you. Therefore first find that within you, because once you do, you won't seek it from outside sources.

Relationship Wisdom - What Makes A Relationship Work?

2011-03-25T04:43:00.001-07:00

Many of my clients have asked me over the years: What makes a relationship work? There are many theories either based on someone's opinion or based on research like in Dr. John Gottman's case.

In the end every relationship is different and what works for one, might not work for another. Having said this, there are a few basic principles that help make a relationship long or longer lasting:

Mutual respect

Sounds simple but once you have been together for a while the respect, interest and curiosity diminishes, as you get desensitized to your partner's ways. Many couples find that after a few years they wouldn't treat a friend as disrespectfully as they sometimes treat their partner. Looking at abusive relationships it becomes obvious that people give up the need to be respected for the little bit of apparent love and attention they get, which they probably didn't get enough of in their childhood.

Ask yourself: What role does mutual respect play in your relationship?

Willingness to continuously grow, as an individual and as a couple

We change and develop anyway, whether we want to or not. As a couple it is important to be open and willing to improve any aspect of self and the relationship on a continuous basis. Even though you're an adult now, this does not mean that your communication skills are unfaultable, right? Even though you've made love for all these years, are you really sure that what you're doing and experiencing is all there is?

Ask yourself: What areas of myself and of my relationship could I spend some time with this month or year and learn more about it? What could we do together as a couple?

Openness to get to know your partner again and again

You might think just because you've been together for 3, 5, 10 years that you know all there is to know about your partner. This would presuppose that nothing ever changes. The fact is that you are not the same person today that you were when you met your partner. Even on a physical sense the cells in your body will have totally replicated within seven years.

Ask yourself: What are we doing as a couple to know what's going on in the other person's life? Do we check-in with each other on a daily basis? Am I interested to hear what my partner has to say?

If any of the questions above have given you some areas to work on start today. If you find it challenging to do this on your own, find a couple's workshop, a communication class or find a counsellor or coach to support you in this journey together. You're doing not just your partner but yourself and your whole family a favor if you're happier where you are and with whom you're spending your life.

A Short Story About Turning an 8 Year Long Divorce Into a Ten Minute Process - Learnings in Life

2010-05-21T06:33:00.002-07:00

I'd watched Mohamed Ali knock boxers out. I'd seen bombs explode in movies. I'd been in gang fights and I'd crashed cars in rally trials. I'd chopped down trees and shot rabbits for dinner. But I never knew how far a human being could fall until I actually experienced it.

It's a simple matter. One day the discomfort is there, the fake identities are in place, the double life exists and everybody seems happy (even though at some level they are not). The next day, the children were crying, my wife was crying, I was crying. It's a simple matter, just crack the ego shell, find the truth, move on.

If a the drama of a divorce happened to me now, it'd take ten minutes to process. Twenty years ago, for me it took eight years to heal myself and for most people, that's about the average time it takes to heal the wounds and become friendly with the ex again.

Back then, when the crack happened between my nicely constructed life, or what is best called "Brand Chris Walker" the mask I loved people to identify me with, and my real life, I really thought death would be a nicer place to be.

I was given plenty of chances to sort that GAP out long before the proverbial hit the fan, but, being a good ol Aussie bloke, and totally not wanting to get caught up in fluff, I didn't.

I didn't read one single book, attend one seminar, question my doctor, seek a therapist, watch a DVD movie or speak to someone about the Gap between Brand Walker and Real Walker until I needed to. That was mistake number one.

So, nothing prepared me for the fall. I thought I was bullet proof, and to the extent that I could lie, sneak off behind my wife's back, afford the fancy clothes and cars, and entertain friends with good jokes and wine, I was bullet proof. Gee, I'd come from street thug, shy kid, broken violent home to multi millionaire success story, why would I want to mess that up with honesty. The thought of it made my blood curdle.

But the gap between authenticity and my life had grown wider and wider, it was deeper than a mountain crevasse, and faking it was becoming harder and more gut wrenching. My lover wanted all of me, my wife deserved all of me. It was bound to unravel.

Brand Walker, the me I presented to the world, my turtle shell was concrete, and yet, in one snap, it was in crumbs and it took eight more years before I was able to say, with honesty, "thank goodness."

The thought of living that life I had for the whole of my life, deluded, is beyond my comprehension. On one hand I lost the dream of a united family, one that I'd lied, cheated and manipulated to sustain, but really, I gained so much more.

My children, in the long run benefited: What sort of role model was I? They had a Dad living a fake life only deluding himself because children's intuition, especially my own young children, see through the masks, even if they don't want to know what they see and feel, they see through the Brand of Walker.

The break up day was the greatest day of my life. I lost everything that I'd considered important, and found everything that was important. And that was the second mistake, waiting for stuff to happen before acting on it. There are a million softer ways to deal with the Gap, to make this shift instead of lawyers, therapists and new age guru's.

Sure, I'd wish those softer ways on others, but, if like me, a person is so invested in their Brand - being someone - providing the fake before the make, then the crash is as clear, harsh and confronting as it will need to be. At least nature doesn't give up on us, all the way to the grave, we have a chance to learn, let go, evolve and enjoy the journey. Once hit between the eyes like this, life will never be compromised again.

The third mistake I made during this eight long year drama called divorce, was denying reality. I believed or wanted to believe there was hope for reconciliation, and did everything corruptly trying to get back together again. The reality was, if we had got back together, within a short time, everything would have gone back to how it was. Yuk....

As it turned out, I got compassionate leave from the University where I was mid way through my MBA, begged my now ex-wife to take me back, faked the change, promised to be good, sought help from half trained "relationship guru's" and basically tried to put the eggshell back together again.

It nearly worked. My ex-wife was as shattered as me, so the mix of her guilt and fear of the future combined with my tricks and promises of redemption nearly got us back together. Thank goodness her family held her safe, and her friends protected her from my games - she held tight to her convictions, the lawyers protected her from my games and I was left to deal with reality.

Without some healthy process to take me to a finality in this journey, without a coach to guide me, my middle ground - half life is ok drama could have lasted 25 years as it does for most people. Instead, even with the discomfort, it took eight long years to sort out the fallout.

Process

To clean cement from a cement mixer you hose it out as soon as you're finished. Leave it for a day, and it becomes concrete and then instead of a hose you need a hammer and chisel. Life's little challenges are best dealt with while they're soft, as they happen. In my case, I'd cemented 34 years of unwashed concrete against the walls of my brain. It was going to take more than a jack-hammer - dynamite was required.

My ideas, beliefs, patterns, values and habits that made up my ego nature, were set hard for years.

The process of personal change is so easy. It takes a few minutes at most to deal with a divorce, but the concrete is thick, the process is ego dependent, we resist without knowing it and take side tracks in self-help that add years and years.

All I needed to do was to get REAL and that can take very little time, however, in the process of struggling with things, I actually made them worse.

First I found my Myer Brigg behavioural profile and used it as just another way of creating a legitimising Brand Bubble around my ego. At some stage I became Buddhist which conveniently wrapped another Brand Bubble over the top of my ego. Then Yoga Brand Bubble and the list goes on and on.

I'd lacked real authenticity in my marriage, so why would I look for authenticity in my self-help? What I did, in the name of self-help and healing was, instead of giving up my ego was to find as many ways to reinvent it as possible.

The fifth mistake was in taking a self-determined path to sort myself out. It's like tickling yourself. I began by looking for people to agree with me, to reinforce my "story" about how things should be and shouldn't be in the world. I merged with like minded people, read like minded books, protested about like minded issues and rejected anything that disagreed with me. I used blame to strengthen my ideology, publicised my social conscience at every opportunity, found women who liked the new Brand Walker and made money, dancing for people who liked what they saw.

As a professional speaker you get paid to tell people what they want to hear. At the end of any speech people are asked to rate speakers on speaker feedback forms. What's the question? Did you enjoy this, did you get something out of it? Really the question could be put, "Did this speaker lie enough to make you feel comfortable with what you already thought?"

A highly rated professional speaker tells you what you want to hear and charges you for it. The more you hear what you want to hear, the more they charge. It's positive reinforcement, but it's not personal change.

My inauthentic life and the thinking around it was reinforced by the speakers I chose, the doctors I chose, supported by workshops I chose, constructed out of intellectual ideals that came from books I chose, moulded by groups I joined, endorsed by Eastern Teachings I twisted, backed by the Yoga I half practiced and worked on by therapists I played with. I'd worked on the streets since I was 14, I knew people, and most important to this inauthentic circumstance, and my naivety around changing it, I knew how to play people. No therapist with a psych degree from a text book university could, under any circumstance, get under my radar. I was from the jungle, I knew how to survive, which, in self awareness may not be the ideal model.

But those are just the bricks that the wall is made of. The mortar, the glue that holds those identity bricks in place are the everyday habits, the substitutes that were a normal, invisible part of my life. The habits I had like going for a morning jog, doing yoga, eating fast, enjoying coffee, lying to be kind, pleasing clients and doing what corporate trainers often called good leadership.

These habits that are hard to break are the mortar that hold the bricks that make our ego strong. Habits of thinking, doing, behaving, analysing, reading, interpreting - second guessing the world and people around me. It's a survival instinct that created a dependence that kept me from real honesty. And I had plenty of them.

I am still intrigued about the gap between what I was willing to question and my intention. I was hurting and so I read hundreds of self-help books - but I do remember flicking through them in the book shop to see whether I'd enjoy it or not - automatically pre-filtering challenging information.

But my favourite mirror of my deluded sense of self-help are the notes I took at conferences and workshops. You see, what the speaker said, what the speaker intended me to hear, and what I wrote down as my interpretation of what I heard were totally different topics. I managed to "pre select" information, filter out things I probably needed to hear, spin them and turn those things into what I WANTED to hear. My lack of authenticity, although purely innocent and accidental, screwed with the journey that I'd set out on to become authentic.

So, for a few years I questioned only what I wanted to question, and went on suffering when, after a week of elation post seminar, post book, post meditation retreat, post yoga ashram program, I'd be dealing with the reality of a divorce, my ex-wife being happy without me, and the truth of my miserable life.

What I didn't agree with, I didn't like. What I didn't enjoy hearing in those challenges I'd ignore, what I didn't enjoy reading that questioned my identity I'd discard as rubbish. The things I really needed to change remained untouched because I filtered out the challenges to them.

As the self-help bills went up, and the "filtering" increased with every new piece of "alternative" awareness, my health declined. Kidney stones, sinusitis, lung infections, cold sores, cholesterol increases, blood pressure, nervous system weakness - all the signs of a man living in his own deluded world were there, nature was saying, "hey mate, get REAL." Of course, that's easy to see in hindsight, and sad to think about.

Sad because it was like living with a broken leg and going to healers who just did what I told them to do. In the meantime, the leg continues to get worse, the healers get paid (their main concern) and I am in pain, dumping my emotional garbage on all those around me at work and home, but in particular, those I love most. To hell to the world of self help and amateur healing. Damn to the nice therapist, the sweet meditation teachers and the agreeable speakers. To Hell with the nice herbalist dishing me up what I wanted. Damn to the books that are written to sell.

One or two people challenged my process. My doctor had mentioned in my visits that maybe I needed to see a psychologist and get some therapy, but before the words had left her mouth, I'd discounted the idea and considered changing the doctor. I was interested in getting better, not worse which in my language meant, legitimising what I already thought, and how I thought about life.

Bit by bit my "SELF-HELP" which was primarily based on deluding myself by surrounding myself with things that agreed with me, went through a process of elimination. I read the books and still felt bad, I became the Zen master, and still couldn't deal with reality for more than a few days at a time. I because the Yogi and stuck my head up my backside, but that didn't change much, just who I slept with.

Conferences came and went, workshops drained my bank account, writing hundreds of thousands of pages of journals didn't help. I was still Chris, and I was still divorced and I was still a loser. Nothing had changed it, only given me nice places to hide from reality. Hiding in meditation rooms, yoga rooms, book rooms, and plenty of new age girlfriends, who promised they were happy to have unattached sex, but who, like me, were totally inauthentic, just wearing masks.

Therapy was out of the question. As I said before, I could manipulate any therapist or psychologist. I was more clever than that. Thirty odd years of street cunning, doesn't come unstuck in some fancy office with an intellectual. I was a mud wrestling business guy who had mastered the art of business in Asia. I knew more than any psychologist or therapist could throw at me. In other words, my ego was really well barricaded. It was a fortress.

I did go to therapy because I found an amazing therapist, a woman and she was attractive. I took her flowers on the second appointment, thinking all the while, "here's my next relationship - I'll marry emotional balance instead of finding it." I can't begin to tell you how stupid that sounds to me now, but at the time, health by association was a fantastic shortcut and, of course, the basis of the choices I made to marry my first wife.

After five years walking around in pain with a virtual broken leg, feeling suicidal and depressed, hating my life but "loving everyone unconditionally" (please speak those words in a soft smooth ashram tone of sincerity) - I was still ready to get into another marriage based on the same deluded definition of love and relationship that caused the first calamity.

When I presented the flowers and gave my therapist a kiss on both cheeks (suave eh?) she sat me down politely and told me, "Chris, you're an attractive, seductive man, but you'll never ever be romantically involved with me. You'll never bridge the gap between being a client and a relationship." She couldn't have made it clearer. And, with my old responses to success still firmly running my life I thought, "yeah, right!"

After six months of sparing twice a week with her, wasting her time and mine, I noticed that she'd started renovating the back of the house her counselling rooms were in, I want a plaque on that with my name on it. "Donated by the EGO of CW" At least it forced me to take this time more seriously.

My therapist's classic question was "Chris, how do you feel?" - at first I'd recall the text of some book I was reading or some workshop I'd just attended and then share how I should feel, which was how I wanted to impress the world and her, (art of seduction is my next book - smile please) - I'd say, "at peace" or "thankful" or "unconditionally loving." And at some surface and ambitious level I meant it. But my therapist was smarter than me, she didn't buy it and would ask, "and?" Man that used to annoy me, but as I saw her as my last desperate possibility for happiness, I tolerated the discomfort and, at last in my journey, went below the surface.

"What else do I feel - you ask? - What else? Well I'm angry at the money I'm wasting, and angry about this and that and this, and I'm sad about this and..... " then I'd cry. Damn it, then I'd cry and she'd sit and hold me.

So, suddenly I was aware of two worlds - the one I mastered in order to cope with life - to get what I wanted in life and the other world below the surface... "What the hell am I doing here?" I'd spring out of that vulnerable space - the Inner Space like a jack-in-a box - shocked and ashamed, embarrassed, "what's she going to think of me?" I'd ask, soon coming to the realisation that any hopes of a relationship were now dead.

Eventually I got over the discomfort, she helped me dive deep below the surface that I'd called reality, down into the inner workings of my heart and mind, into beauty of feelings I'd never felt. She held me close to her, something, as a boy who lost his mother at three years old, I'd never trusted.

It took time, years in fact. I had to cut through my own walls, and then my family culture of toughness, and then my masculine perceptions of manhood and so many other layers.

So, getting familiar with this other side of life was like carving marble with a tooth pick. My ego pushed back and in between sessions, I'd meet a new girlfriend, read another book, attend another seminar or end up in a court case with my ex. She had me by the balls and could, with a single phone call, squeeze as hard as she liked. And that's what needed to change more than anything else.

Three more years, making a total of eight since my fake world had started to crumble, I sort of made it to daylight. The therapy, some workshops that I allowed to challenge me, some relationships that I allowed to take me deeper than I'd previously dreamed possible. I now accepted that I felt things different to what the books and seminars proposed as "best" practice. I made love differently, thought about my ex-wife differently, loved my children unconditionally.

Eight years to do ten minutes work. Who wants that?

So, from all this came a mission. A purpose to my life, a reason to wake up and kick ass - to compress eight years of ego placating, identity fraudulence, pleasure seeking therapy and self-help into ten minutes of life change.

So far, I've got it down to a month, 30 days, in which I can take most people down that rabbit hole of self awareness, clear the debris, chip out the old set concrete and find the real happiness that can only come from the inside out. I'm still learning, each client brings somethings special and with that, I discover something new, something magic, a question, a process, an idea that tricks the ego into allowing real, permanent, sustainable, love filled, humanising change.

The eleven books I've published have been a process of distillation. Books are clumsy because they are made from words and words are not the short cut to truth. Words fart around the truth, they dance around the ego, they feed what we want to read and somehow drop in comprehension and interest when they stray into truth.

What could have made my journey easier was a book written by some guy who'd gone to hell and back and who came out the other side of it, happier and more connected to those he loves than before it. A story of a journey from the plastic façade of a constructed set of expectations that cannot be achieved to a real, simple honest acknowledgement of what it looks like to be Real.

Main Points

Respect the Ego: It's hard to do good if you don't feel good
Don't follow Your Ego: Lose authenticity, lose everything.
Do the right thing: Love your work and it'll love you back
Live inside-out: Relationships and family don't solve personal problems.
Self-Honesty: The simplest life is the most transparent - to you.
Trust something bigger than you: Don't argue with nature, no matter what people say, it doesn't work in the long term.
The law of lesser pissers: Piss others off or piss yourself off - you can't do both at the same time.

8 Things to Do to Find Love By Oni Adeyemi

2010-05-21T06:33:00.000-07:00

- Reason for finding love- An individual must love himself for him to find love. You cannot give what you do not have. Love is sharing. You must love someone for them to love you back. Having the right reasons to fall in love goes a long way in finding the right person. You cannot just wake up one day and decide to pick someone to spend the rest of your life with without having a genuine reason of why would you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. Having a right frame of mind means you will get someone who will love you for who you are and you will surely reciprocate.

- Relating with the right set of people:- "like minds think alike". That was a saying I grew up to know but now I am old enough to appreciate that saying. Relating with people is now diverse thanks to technology, people relate via internet, mobile phones etc. Assuming you intend relating and all you browse is adult sites. Definitely, you are relating in a wrong place.

- Physical Attraction (WYSIWYG):- means what you see is what you get. Connecting with someone requires you to be attracted to the person. I am not talking about vague or vain type of attraction but the innate attraction that radiates the latent beauty of each individual. A bonding or connection that does not come from physical contact but from emotions.

- Likes and Dislikes:-Communication goes a long way in bridging separate individuals into a cocoon or niche they created for themselves. Separate entities mean different personalities and perspectives. Finding out each others likes and dislikes makes you appreciate each other and respect one another. Abiding by each others rules and regulations and making compromises in diverse situations will give you fortitude.

- Common Interests:-It is a question of where do we stand. A common ground must have been created between you two. Life can be beautiful so also life can be cruel because it depends on who was beside you when you were facing the challenges of life. Believe me; everyone has to face a challenge or two in his lifetime. The period might pass away quickly if the challenge was faced as a team than as an individual. Common interests mean what we do share as partners. There are many things that could be shared among lovers. It has to start with the greatest gifts of life which are free:

(a)love
(b)family
(c)talents.

Loving each other without holding back goes a long way in having common interests. Family:- gaining acceptance of both family uniting gives a sense of belonging. Sense of belonging goes a long way in determining whether you live a life of depression and loneliness or not.

- Aims and Objectives:- Now you have a relationship but you also have a lifetime job of making the relationship work. Relationship is not just a word but an entity that needs nurturing. Having mutual goals as a team will make way for you when things seem rough. Deciding as partners to make each other happy daily is a goal that could be achieved.

- Source of income:-Money is not unimportant in a union. There are basic needs which can only be acquired by money; you do not expect a starving individual to have any other thoughts except to satiate the hunger. Income is just necessary oil for the machine called relationship.

- The right choice:-There is absolutely no such thing called the "right choice" because i can prove beyond reasonable doubt that if every individual is asked to list all they want in their partners and asked after they have partners what their partners have. There will be a lot of discrepancies between the list and the real partner they have. The right choice is someone you can easily overlook his inadequacies without a second thought.

How to Use Love Quotes to Express Your Romantic Side

2010-05-21T06:29:00.003-07:00

Every one has a romantic side deep within themselves. There is one Romeo in every one of us. So if you think being romantic is not your cup of tea, think again. If you car deck is filled with Love Songs CDs, you are romantic. If you are eager to know your partner's reaction after doing something special for him/her, you are a romantic. If you feel ecstatic seeing the sight of your partner smiling, you are romantic.

So if everyone is so romantic, why do women tend to think their man is clueless in terms of romanticism? It's Simple, because men do not express their love as much as they should. They find it difficult to let out their romantic side. But it is not that difficult. You can use Love quotes to express our loving and romantic feelings for your sweet heart. Here are few ways to use quotes about love to express your emotions.

1- Put Love Quotes on the mirror
Collect some romantic quotes from the web and put them in the mirror used by your sweet heart. Write it big enough to be easily noticed by her. You can use tooth paste or shaving cream to write. Add some smileys along with quote to further enhance their effectiveness.

Make sure to choose the quote that resonate with you and describes something only you and she could understand. When she wakes up in the morning and sit in front of the mirror to get ready, she'd definitely love it.

2- Make a picture Frame
Took any one of your wedding picture and elaborate it a little bit by putting love quotes along with heart signs on it. Weird as it may sound but it is extremely romantic, Isn't it?

3- Engrave Love quote on Soap
Wake up little earlier then your better half. Go to restroom. Take soap in your hands and engrave a short beautiful quote into it using needle or similar pointed object.

These are just a few of endless ways of expressing your romantic side using romantic love quotes. Be creative, think out of the box and you can come up with plenty of ways to give your partner the gift of love and romance.

How to Get a Man Interested After He Has Shown Disinterest - This Will Make Him Change His Mind

2010-05-07T02:05:00.001-07:00

It can be quite frustrating when a man expresses some interest in you initially and then for no reason backs away. We let this go most of the time but if this is becoming a pattern with you or if you really like this guy then it's time to get into action and get him back.

Don't appear desperate for his attention
Never make a man feel like you are in need of his attention. If he backed away make him feel like it is ok and that you are too busy and too mature to pay attention to these small and insignificant issues. When you see him simply give him a smile and nothing more. He needs to know that you hold no grudges but are not a desperate woman.

Be the person that you are
Don't change for anyone. You cannot go about changing who you really are every time you suffer a setback. If you carry on that way then you will begin to suffer from an identity crisis and that is not going to help you in getting the guy you like. Be confident about yourself and love yourself for what you are and not for what you should be or want to be.

Make a casual approach
After some time has passed when you see the guy you like, say hello and smile. Open the doors to a conversation by making the first move. He will be a little resilient at first but you have to be patient and resilient but not aggressive. Keep to the small hellos till he automatically looks at you and smiles himself.

Show him that you have no hidden agenda
When he begins to warm up to you, you need to start the conversation process. Take you conversations beyond the hello phase and make him feel like you have no hidden agenda. Make him comfortable in your presence and dispel that doubt of hard feelings that he might be having. Show him your large heartedness.

Offer to be just friends
Tell him that you would like to become friends once again as it is fun hanging out together and you enjoy his company. If you make it seem completely harmless he will relent and you will be on track to get him interested. After this you have to focus on having a great time together.

Get to the cause
Through means of casual conversation try to find out what happened that he backed off. Make it seem like you are asking because you want to improve as a person and as a friend his opinion matters.

Show him the real you
Once you know what his problem is or was, set out to show him how wrong he was in his perception. Soon you will find that he is interested in you again.

A Sign of True Love By Gregory Baker

2010-03-17T09:05:00.000-07:00

There is perhaps nothing more evidently a sign of love than when a person is willing to buy into the moral character and lifestyle of another.
Think of how pleased a father will be if his son buys into his philosophy of life and chooses to adopt his father's moral principles in life. I can't think of anything, as a father, that would be more gratifying as a child deciding to follow in my footsteps.
Naturally, that isn't expected or pushed, but if a child says, when they are close to adulthood, "I want to be just like dad" that would probably be a sign of love that is greater than anything else I can imagine.
The Bible expresses this concept in several different ways. It speaks of laying down your life for another, and Jesus said that if we love Him, then we would keep His commandments. This isn't an issue of obedience to express love, but rather a demonstration of a person who has bought into the teachings and lifestyle because of love.
I do things for my God, not because I have to, but because I get to. When my wife does things like that for me, when she buys into my vision of the family and our future, is there a more significant sign of true love? I doubt it. When two people so love each other that they alter their own lifestyle, beliefs, and even values to be more in line with the person they love, they have a sure sign of true love.
What greater gift could a person give than to buy into another person's conception and perception on life? To say that you want to be just like another person is an immensely powerful statement of love. This is especially true in a generation that seeks to have fewer ties to people and wishes to be self-made.
I've followed and then blazed beyond the path that my own father walked. And my father couldn't be more pleased. He has both of his sons sharing his value system, his beliefs in God, and his concept of good character. Yes, both my brother and I have bought into my father and mother's lifestyle. And my parents couldn't be more pleased and loved.
If you have someone who is willing to do that for you, know that you have something very special, a sign of true love that is hardly surpassed by any other indicator. What's more, if you are willing to do this for someone else, know that you have found someone that you truly love.

How to Know If You're in Love By Gregory Baker

2010-03-17T09:02:00.000-07:00

I am assuming here this is in regards to relationships seeking a life time commitment in marriage. I pastor a Church and as such, I love many people. But when we speak of the term 'in love' there is only one person other than my God that fits that description: My wife.
There are a series of questions you may want to ask yourself.

AM I WILLING TO SACRIFICE ANY ASPECTS OF MY LIFE TO BE WITH THIS PERSON?
When it comes to marriage, God meant for a man and a woman in such a relationship to have something meaningful together. I don't necessarily think that you must or will give up your dreams, but unless both are on the same page, the marriage will struggle.
My wife followed me out to Colorado as I believed that God had called me here to pastor. She believed that too. She wanted that too. She and I ended up on the same page and that helped make our marriage such a success. I was willing to not go to Colorado if she didn't. I was willing to wait and seek other avenues because I believed that God calls both me and my wife, not just me.
So ask yourself: Is your career or the future you want more important than the person you think you might love? If it is, you are not in love. Not really. You might be attracted, or infatuated, but you aren't in love.

IS THIS PERSON'S VALUE SYSTEM SIMILAR TO MY OWN?
In other words, do you share similar values, morals, and principles in life? Sharing similar values is what will keep a relationship strong over time. The more values you share, the more security and less fighting you'll do.
Sharing things in common, like chocolate, may have helped to bring you together, but it will be the values you share in life that will keep you together.
My wife and I share similar values on God, child rearing, and marriage. This demonstrates over and over again why we love each other.

DO I NEED THIS PERSON AND DOES THIS PERSON NEED ME?
A relationship, especially a marriage, is built on the ability to contribute essential and missing elements that both individuals need.
I need my wife. I honestly don't know what I would do without her. Intellectually, I know that I could survive and I'll figure out a way. But emotionally, and spiritually, I can't fathom it.
We share a mutually symbiotic relationship. Without her, I am much less and without me, she is much less. Together, there is synergy in our relationship.
This is something that you need to look for. If you really don't need another person, you'll fall out of love as quickly as you fell into it.

DO WE SHARE A SIMILAR VISION OF WHERE OUR RELATIONSHIP WILL GO?
This is essential. A bond, such as a marriage, is predicated on sharing a vision and purpose in life. My wife I and pastor a Church. This is a vision and purpose that we share. Our need for each other, our desire to grow a church, our love of helping people all contribute to our falling in love with each other over and over again.
If you have a vision of the future that is not shared by the other person, you'll have major problems. You'll quickly find that you don't feel as much love for a person that isn't walking beside you in life.
Ask these questions, the positive answers to them all will tell you if you are truly in love or not.

What Do Men Like in a Woman? 3 Signs to Pay Attention To By Tina L. Jones

2010-03-12T02:40:00.000-08:00

What are the qualities that attractive women have that unlucky women seem to lack? Is there any way to learn these qualities, or are some women just born with it? To answer the common "what do men like in a woman" question, it may be easier to find out by asking what men DON'T like in women!

#1 - First, men don't like needy women. Remember that most of the "real" men out there have met many women in the past, and if they feel you're a little too eager to get into a relationship, they'll naturally feel disgusted -- and they'll definitely find ways to stay away from you.

#2 - Second, men don't like it if you have to pretend. The better men out there are looking for women who would make great "wife" and "mother" material -- and if you have to fake it, chances are you won't make it!

#3 - Finally, what do men like in a woman? Definitely you'll have to be someone who makes the relationship a fun and exciting place to be. Too many women expect their men to make them happy, not realizing that it takes two people to make any relationship work.

What do men like in a woman? It's basically her ability to keep her own life in line. If a woman is in total control of her life, then she's much more likely to be a great partner. It's a tall order for most of us, but with the right kinds of help and direction, it's always possible to become more attractive in a man's eyes.

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How to Make a Man Desire You and Only You? Here Are the Ultra Vital Tips You Shouldn't Miss at All By Russell Jackson

2010-03-12T02:32:00.000-08:00

Are you looking for ways to make men desire you so much that they would end up wanting to make a commitment with you? Did you know that beautiful and desirable women sort out men by way of selection methods? If you are not blessed with a drop-dead gorgeous looks or body, you can still make any man want you badly. Read on to find out how.

Know the secrets to true beauty. Real beauty does not necessarily have to be what magazines and media imply. It is something which has to be utilized to convey your inner qualities as a person and set yourself apart from other women out there. Of course, looks is a plus factor, but that is not what men only look for in a woman.

Stop making excuses about appearances. Aside from the visual aspect of appearance, there is an aura casted by someone who is attractive. It could be a feeling of pride or confidence. Looking your best means that you feel good about your appearance from within and that would radiate through your body movements.

Be open. The key to a healthy and long relationship is honest and open communication. Even if there are certain things that you disagree, just being resolute about your judgment/s will definitely make him appreciate and respect you. You would lose the trust once you bring in deceit and lying into the relationship.

You got to have self-confidence. Men love women who know what they want and are brave enough to pursue them. Men search for life partners who would help them achieve common goals and dreams.

Give your man a reason to commit. You should spend some quality time together, but make sure not to take out his oxygen. Continue living your personal life in order to give your man his own space and time.

Keep the doors open. You have to be sure that all available options are open until your man has agreed to take the relationship into the next level. If he does not want to commit, then go out and date other men. Be sure to let him know that in order for him to save the relationship, he has to make a commitment.

Give him security. Men who do not feel confident around women would not be able to commit. Therefore, if you want him to make a commitment, then you have to show him that you are a perfect catch by boosting his confidence, accepting his true self and being supportive of his needs.

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What Women Want - Is it Really That Tough? By Chris Tyler

2010-03-12T02:26:00.002-08:00

You've probably felt this way at one time or another. You want to know what women want, but it seems to change ALL of the time. Just when you think you know what a woman wants, and how to make her want you, she goes and does something to totally mess up your head.

Is there ANYTHING that you can do to really understand what a woman wants?

Here are some tips to understand what women want:

1. A woman wants to attract a man that acts like a man. You don't want to be one of those wimpy pushover types if you really want to understand what a woman wants. Just because the movies show the shy and sensitive guy always getting the girl in the end, doesn't mean that is what really works out here in the real world. If you want to attract a woman, you better make her see you as a MAN!

2. She wants a man that knows how to flirt with her without sounding like a jerk. Flirting with a woman is always a fun thing to do when you know how to do it right. The problem is, most guys either flirt with a woman in a way that makes them seem like a complete jerk, OR, they don't do anything to ignite attraction with her. You have to make her want to flirt back with you over and over if you want to really have her hooked on you.

3. Whatever you do, don't try and be Mr. Perfect to her. This is where so many guys get caught up doing the wrong thing. They think that they have to be perfect in every way to attract a woman, but at the end of the day, all this does is make it seem like you are trying to run a game on her.

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What Women Want - Is it Really That Tough? By Chris Tyler

2010-03-12T02:26:00.001-08:00

WWW.PERFECTSDATE.BLOGSPOT.COM
You've probably felt this way at one time or another. You want to know what women want, but it seems to change ALL of the time. Just when you think you know what a woman wants, and how to make her want you, she goes and does something to totally mess up your head.

Is there ANYTHING that you can do to really understand what a woman wants?

Here are some tips to understand what women want:

1. A woman wants to attract a man that acts like a man. You don't want to be one of those wimpy pushover types if you really want to understand what a woman wants. Just because the movies show the shy and sensitive guy always getting the girl in the end, doesn't mean that is what really works out here in the real world. If you want to attract a woman, you better make her see you as a MAN!

2. She wants a man that knows how to flirt with her without sounding like a jerk. Flirting with a woman is always a fun thing to do when you know how to do it right. The problem is, most guys either flirt with a woman in a way that makes them seem like a complete jerk, OR, they don't do anything to ignite attraction with her. You have to make her want to flirt back with you over and over if you want to really have her hooked on you.

3. Whatever you do, don't try and be Mr. Perfect to her. This is where so many guys get caught up doing the wrong thing. They think that they have to be perfect in every way to attract a woman, but at the end of the day, all this does is make it seem like you are trying to run a game on her.

Please fell free to comment on any of the articles

How to Create a Successful First Date By Truong Le Hong

2010-03-12T02:19:00.000-08:00

Dating can be a fun process on the way to finding your perfect match. First dates in particular can be nerve wracking, but there are several things you can do to ensure that your date will go well. Below, we'll share with you a few tips on how to have a successful first date and how to keep the evening flowing smoothly.

Strike a conversation
During the first date, you will be getting to know the person you are with and that person will become familiar with who you are. Remember, first impressions do count. Your date will wake up the next morning remembering their date last night and you'll want them to have good things to focus on. For the first date, it's best to keep conversation to light hearted topics rather than serious ones. You can feel out your date to see if he/she is ready to talk about serious matters. If not, just ask some light questions to get to know them better. You can ask them about their life and what plans they have for the future, but try to be light hearted and genuinely interested in what they have to say.

Be genuine
Although you may be nervous, try your best to be yourself. Laugh at their funny remarks and show interest in what they have to say. A successful first date will be one where you are genuinely interested in your date. Be sure to make eye contact and follow their lead if they are ready to move into another topic of conversation.

Be attractive
If you want to set a good impression, one step is to dress nice. Part of the first impression is visual. Although it's not appropriate to judge a book by its cover, the truth is appearance does count and it makes a difference in your overall impression. You could consider dressing to accentuate your best features but remember to be comfortable. You won't want to spend your first date in uncomfortable attire that could distract your attention away from the person you're with.

Romantic Lines to Say to Her - SEDUCE Her With Nothing But Your Words! By Derek Rake

2010-03-12T02:07:00.002-08:00

When you're cuddling with her (whether at the park or on the bed after making love), it's a good time to feed her with romantic lines so that she falls further in love with you. Now you have got to step up to the plate and say something that will make her fall head over heels for you... otherwise you will shoot yourself in the foot. Read on for some killer lines which you can use - guaranteed to make her want to jump into the sack with you...

Romantic Lines To Say To Her - SEDUCE Her With Nothing But Your Words!

Killer Line #1: "You're sexy!" Understand this - no matter if the woman is as hot as Angelina Jolie or as fat as Roseanne Barr, she WILL feel insecure. If you are able to reassure her that she's hot in your eyes, then she will be emotionally addicted to you.

Killer Line #2: "You're all I want, and I need". Use this line if you truly appreciate what she brings to the table. Now if you don't mean it, don't say it - a woman will be able to pick up your fakery a mile away... no matter how sweet the line is. Beware!

Killer Line #3: "I'd rather be here with you than anywhere else in the world". She knows that she is competing for your time with the Wii, Playboy magazine and your drinking buddies. She will be happy to know that you'd rather spend time with her than playing computer games, looking at busty women and getting drunk!

Romantic Lines to Say to Her - SEDUCE Her With Nothing But Your Words! By Derek Rake

2010-03-12T02:07:00.000-08:00

How to Answer Relationship Questions

2009-10-22T08:43:00.000-07:00

The way you answer relationship questions on your first date will talk for itself whether the guy will call you for another date or not. You can create a good first impression by the way you answer those relationship questions. A man will keep on wanting to know more if you keep the conversation interesting.

• When answering to any of your man's relationship questions, keep eye contact to show some confidence in yourself. Be a woman that seems to know what you want even if you're nervous inside. In this way, he'll start imagining what more you can offer.

• If a man asks you about your life. For example; what you do for a living. It's not time to tell him exactly what you're doing. Bear in mind that you've just met and you have no idea what kind of a woman he's looking for. I'm not saying that you should now lie about what you actually do for your living. The idea is to keep him guessing and not getting everything at once so that he can come back for more. Add some flavor to how you answer these relationship questions. Men want something intriguing. Like, what do you think I do? Instead of telling him about how hectic it is to work as a personal assistant and how you dislike your boss.

• The success to answering relationship questions is in the way you handle yourself around him. You're not only going to be answering his questions but you may through in yours too. Keep your cool. There's nothing to stress about. The moment you do this, all your confidence will be gone and you'll struggle so much to say what you want. Enjoy every moment together. Have some fun so that you meet again with more fun stuff this time.

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How to Make a Girl Fall in Love With You and Become Addicted

2009-10-22T03:15:00.000-07:00

It sure can be easy to do well in college and land a dream job. It can also be easy for you to make those big bucks, carve a niche for yourself and create a name for yourself in no time, but the hardest aspect of life comes when you have to look for the women of your dreams - Someone who will be with you for all eternity. If you're a person who has all the material things in life and want to make a girl fall in love with you, then it's time that you read the following to learn how. Here are three tips that will surely help you in making a girl fall in love with you.

Be Honest

If there is one mistake that most men make, it surely is to portray themselves as someone they're not and then regretting it later when the truth unravels itself. A woman needs to fall in love with you for the way you are and not for someone that you are not. If you want a woman to love then let her love you for all your flaws and your virtues. Be honest to yourself and to your woman because she definitely deserves it.

Stay Sparkling Clean

When you step out of the house wanting a woman to fall in love with you, you will have to ensure that you are dressed to kill and smell to make heads turn. But make certain that these dressing and the smelling does not scream "bum". You would have to dress swank and smell clean. Women like to associate such looks and smells to man of class and they would definitely want to know you and also perhaps fall in love with you if you are still available.

Be Chivalrous and Humble

Treat women with respect and you will definitely find them attracted to you. Women are under the impression that though we are in the 21st century and though technology has advanced quite a bit, men are still primitive and the words chivalry and respect aren't dead but they weren't even a part of your vocabulary. Now make certain that you prove women wrong and give them a paradigm shift. Hold the elevator door open for them, be the last one to get into the elevator while you hold the door open for them. Show women that you are chivalrous and that you are not like the other men who disrespect

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Bonus for Soccer lovers

2009-10-19T03:37:00.001-07:00

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5 Ways to Be a Virgin Again After a Big Break Up Or Divorce

2009-10-16T06:13:00.000-07:00

Are you nursing your break up wounds and seeking a romantic recovery? Newly single men and women will be refreshed, renewed and ready to end your romantic drought when you learn--

5 Ways To Be A Virgin Again After A Big Break Up Or Divorce:

1. Erase the battle scars of your break up

* Pamper your body with massage, hot baths, essential oils, manicures and pedicures that include hand + foot reflexology
* Lift your spirits with upbeat music, friends, books, time in nature, meditation and reflection of beauty
* Revive your dreams and take action on them every day
* Remember the love and forget the sad, angry stories of your break up battle or lonely bout of lost love

2. Love your body, flaws and all

* Give thanks for your personal miracle maker that heals your injuries, fights disease and creates new life
* See your lines as love lines, your sags or extra padding as signs you need a boost of nourishment, exercise, self love
* Recharge your health with whole organic foods and safe, elegant alternative healing practices including exercise
* Develop healthy self love which attracts love like a love magnet

3. Get your sex muscles in shape

* Do Kegel exercises whenever you're standing in line or waiting for a red light to turn green
* Toss out those blue pills, because men over 50 may get proper nourishment & sexual support in these 3 steps

4. Rev up your sexual desire

* Wake up your libido with natural health care and super foods that support healthy sexual desire
* Arouse your sexual fantasies with romantic or erotic films
* Read articles and novels about the adventures in finding love and fulfilling your dreams of love
* Observe the sexual life force in people you meet, like you're tuning into a new program with good sexual vibrations

5. Get back in the dating world

* Tell your family and friends that you're ready to date and ask if they know a good match for you
* Expand your dating horizons beyond your neighborhood
* Seek out single friends interested in socializing and traveling with other singles
* Sign up for a matchmaking service that introduce professional and creative singles over lunch
* Join an online dating site that safely introduces you to savvy singles through video chats, special events or singles travel adventures
* Trust that there is no reason to be alone, at any age, unless you want to be -- since there are millions of singles seeking real love across America and around the world.

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First Time Sex - Losing Your Virginity

2009-10-16T05:58:00.001-07:00

First time sex is never as straightforward as most people believe. In fact, the expectations usually far exceed the experience. For the male, it may be over all too soon, without a great deal of satisfaction.

Lets look at first time sex from both a male and female perspective and how to approach this critical time in all our lives.

For the female, it can be fraught with pain instead of pleasure, and with a quick ending, far from a pleasurable experience. Approached correctly, however, first time sex can be rewarding and fulfilling instead of the opposite.

The Virgin Male

Depending on where his information can from (about the sexual experience) his basic knowledge will be limited to theory and masturbation.

Neither theory nor masturbation prepares a virgin male for a first time sexual experience.

The conversations of peers also can fill the first timer with misconceptions and wrong expectations.

The Virgin Female

Depending on her age, the virgin female may have had numerous clitoral orgasms. A first time sexual experience and “the force of man” can provide many unexpected situations, and feelings.

If her hymen is in tact, she may be in for some real pain as well.

If there has not been sufficient foreplay, there may not also enough lubrication prior to the male insertion.
The female may be very young and also with high expectations. Certainly if the act is about 20 seconds, and all she felt was pain and pressure, her romantic expectations will not have been fulfilled.

Preparation

It is advised that the couple experiment first with mutual masturbation.

This way the partner learns something about the other’s anatomy, and the stimulation (which can be overwhelming) can result in orgasms without penetration at the start.

This technique can lead into another session (after some recovery time, say 45 minutes) where penetration can begin.

The female should insist (and the male must agree) to use of a condom.

However in a warm-up session (that will almost always end up with a male orgasm), a condom need not be used.

In the second or third attempt, where penetration is the goal, the male’s penis would have been desensitized by the all the preliminaries.

Oral sex for first timers is a good idea, but difficult to be good at.

With two inexperienced partners, oral sex or mutual oral sex may end up as a messy and non-romantic prelude to penetration.

Therefore, unless one of the two partners really have some experience in oral sex, it’s best left for another time.

Time to Penetrate

If the female is a virgin with her hymen intact, the couple should use Astrolube or KY (or similar) that will help reduce the initial friction.

With adequate lubrication (and the female wont have much of her own if she is afraid of the act, even though she is willing. Use adequate lubrication.

The best first time sex position is with the female laying her side, and the male in back of her, with their legs lightly bent at the knees.

The couple sort of resembles 2 spoons. The male can caress the female, and hold her, while the female can assist the male to insert his penis easily into her vagina.

As the couple is on their sides, the female can sort of regulate the pressure, and the depth o f the male’s penetration.

If she feels pain, the female can alter the depth of the penis and even the angle.

Usually the first times will finish in less than 5 minutes. The man can continue to hold the female tightly and caress here, and tell to her sweet things about their experience.

Following the above will save the couple some pain and hurt feelings. We wish you good luck, and hope to what you learned here into your later sexual lives.

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How to Make Any Girl Like You Even If You Are Not That Good Looking - Ultra Important For You

2009-10-08T07:57:00.000-07:00

If you feel looks are not your strong points then read on for six tips on how to make any girl like you even if you aren't that good-looking.

Don't be desperate: Girls who find you too needy will not go out with you. In fact, they will do everything they can to avoid you at all cost. Being desperate actually makes you less good-looking to the opposite sex. Don't do it!

Self-confidence: Girls like men that know what they want. Make sure your special girl sees you have goals in life. Let her realize you have serious plans for your future, including settling down and having a family. Girls always go for men they find have serious intentions.

Shower her with attention: Some good-looking guys make it all about them. Girls will go after them for a while but will soon tire of their ego. If you show the girl it's all about her - well, mostly about her - she will pay attention to you.

Shower her with consideration and compliments. Just remember, don't overdo it! You don't want her to think you're tiresome.

Show off what you're good at: Good looks might be a bit lacking but you definitely have a lot of talent and are good at many things. Most handsome guys rely on their looks but have nothing else to offer.

Show your special girl that you like a certain author or have a great interest in movies. Let her see you are good at a certain sport or have the same hobby she does. Watch her be instantly interested in you

Think positive: Go after her! What have you got to lose? Nothing! Be optimistic and exude positive vibes. Girls always fall for the self-confident type.

Be yourself: Don't pretend to be someone else. Girls hate lies and want a man who is honest and realistic about themselves. Just let her see who you really are and you're sure to be liked.

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How to Get Back the Ex Who Dumped Me - If You Really Want Your Ex Back, Make it Happ

2009-10-08T07:55:00.000-07:00

Did your ex dump you? If that did happen you know how it feels to be left by the one you loved. If you really want to get back at your ex you must appear strong and happy. You should never allow anyone to see you down because this works like an avalanche and brings more of the same bad feelings again and again. You should never have uncontrolled thoughts and feelings near your ex because they will see you as a needy person and that is something you must avoid. Neediness is the fastest way to send your ex away from you.

If you are not interested in having some one else and you only want your ex back, it is always time to take action and recover your lost relationship. Of course you will need some instructions and some effort on your side is required too.

The first step is to give your ex some time. I know it is very tempting to call or text them after the break up, but you must resist because being absent from their lives for some time, its just what can make your ex miss you and want to come back to you. Remember not to annoy them with calls or text messages because this will not only push them away, but can also make them lose all interest in you.

While you are trying to get your ex back, you must also improve yourself by hanging with the right friends, try new things, hobbies, buy new clothes and shoes... Every one of these things will make you more tempting day by day. Don't forget to play hard to get but not so hard that when your ex wants you back you won't allow it.

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What Makes a Guy Fall in Love? How to Hook the Man of Your Dreams

2009-09-28T08:15:00.000-07:00

Would you like to hook the man of your dreams and learn what makes a guy fall in love? Do you think that you've tried everything to capture his heart but all of your efforts have gone unnoticed? How can you really get him to love you? Women typically want a man in their life that they can shower with affection and love. Actually, men are not that different, either, when it comes to love. Sometimes, however, men and women have different ways of going about it. If you want to learn what makes a guy fall in love then keep reading to find out some secrets that you can't afford not to learn.

A lot of women think that what makes a guy fall in love is being with a girl that they have a strong physical attraction to. While it is true that the physical attraction part is good and even necessary it should be the thing that really turns a guy's heart on. Why? Because sex can be superficial. Lust can come and go in different stages but if you want real love, and something that will last, you will need something more solid.

It is the emotional bonding and connection that you really need for the relationship to go somewhere. A friendship is a very good way to start with this aspect of your relationship. With a friendship, you can support one another, be there for each other, and share common interests. These are things that can make you strong as a couple as well as get you through the good and bad times.

Admiration is also a good thing to have. If you can get a guy to admire a quality that you have then he is well on his way to falling in love with you. Admiration is just one step below love in many cases so let him see the real side of you so that he can get to know you and your personality.

It can be a good idea to try and delay having sex until you have formed the aforementioned emotional connection and friendship. The beginning of a relationship is always exciting and you might be tempted to go ahead and have sex with your new guy, but at least wait a little while. It will give you a chance to get to know him and his intentions and possibly keep your heart from being broken by someone who is less than admirable.

It is these things that makes a guy fall in love with a woman. Remember them when you are with your new guy and hopefully you will be able to take your relationship to the next level.

How to Choose the Gender of Your Baby

2009-09-18T07:08:00.000-07:00

You want to be able to choose the gender of your baby. You want to have a say on how your baby develops and what gender they will be. You have this vision in your mind of the child that you are going to give birth to and you want to make this dream come true. If you want to pick the gender of your baby, then you need to learn more about how to make that happen for you.

There are lots of ways to select the gender of your baby and most of them involve scientific procedures. Most commonly, couples will pay a lot of money for these hormone injections. However, these are not safe. There are risks involved that could do some serious damage to your little child. You know that you would never be able to live with yourself if something happened to your baby. Picking the gender of your baby is still something that interests you, but not using these approaches.

There are lots of things that can be done to choose the gender of your baby but i will just discuss 3 steps or methods to gender selection.

The first step is to time your PH levels. There are short time periods when a woman is more likely to conceive a boy or a girl.Knowing how to pick the gender of your baby has a lot to do with timing. Male and female sperm differ in many ways including their speed and sustainability. If you want to conceive a boy it's best to try and time lovemaking at the moment of ovulation. Obviously, it's virtually impossible to determine the exact moment when ovulation occurs, but with the right methods a woman can narrow down the time frame to within a day. When you expect you are just about to ovulate, you should make love to increase your chances of conceiving a son.

When it comes to having a girl, the opposite holds true. Couples who are hoping for a daughter should make love a couple of days before ovulation is expected to occur. The reason this is helpful is that female sperm do last longer than male sperm and therefore will be waiting the arrival of the unfertilized egg.

If you're unsure about when you'll be ovulating, a basal thermometer is the only tool you really need. It's a necessity when you want to pick the gender of your baby. The woman simply takes her temperature before she gets out of bed each morning. Once it starts to change, ovulation is imminent. Most thermometers like this come with a graph that the woman can use to chart her daily temperature. Using the graph is very helpful and gives you a clear picture of when you should try conceiving.

The second method is to make small adjustments to your diet. Unbelievable, but the truth is that some foods will favor one sex or the other.

Thankfully, you can choose the gender of your baby in a very safe and all-natural way. To make this happen, it really depends on the mother's diet. If you want to have a baby boy, then you need to eat a diet rich in alkaline foods. Including a lot of pumpkin and tofu in your diet will make this happen. The opposite is said for a baby girl. Eating lots of acidic foods will create the optimal environment for that little girl to grow in. You can get the gender that you want without harming anyone's health.

And thirdly choosing different specific intercourse positions and time of the day will effect what gender your baby will be because warm sperm and cold sperm does not move at thesame speed.

This method works for parents regardless of your age, race or any medications you may be taking. It works the same regardless of your children's gender that you already have. It is an all natural safe and effective way to pick the gender of your baby.

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How to Have Better Sex - Advice For Christian Couples

2009-09-18T06:41:00.000-07:00

For some reason many married Christians think that GOD does not want them to get down and dirty when it comes to having sex. Listen, GOD wants you to enjoy sex. He created it for two purposes. Pleasure and reproduction. PERIOD! It was created for pleasure as well as reproduction. You should be doing whatever it takes to please each other.

The biggest question many Christians have is "what is allowable?" Well I think that is all up to you. Use a bit of common sense. No, GOD would not approve of a three some so I wouldn't go there. After all marriage is for 2 people so you don't bring an extra party into your bedroom. But as far as toys and different positions you are free to explore those things.

Being a Christian does not mean you have to have boring sex. Spice it up. Remember, GOD wants you to enjoy sex. He wants you to have a healthy and happy sex life.

What you do in your bedroom is really up to you and your partner. Get together and discuss a few things you would like to try. One of the greatest things you can to do make your lovemaking more interesting and exciting is to try new positions. Stop it already with the boring old missionary position.

Be free. Open up. Allow yourself to explore your partner fully. Christian sex should be the best sex. Do you think that GOD would want you to be unfulfilled sexually? Of course he doesn't.

The bottom line is this. You should be having enjoyable sex. If you want to try something and you are not sure if it is ok in the eyes of GOD then simply ask him. He will answer you. That I can promise.

Another big question that comes up a lot is "is oral sex ok?" I personally dont feel oral sex is ok. But could it be another way to please your partner? But just like everything else you have to do what you feel is best for your relationship.

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Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back - What You Need to Know

2009-09-18T06:06:00.000-07:00

If getting your ex boyfriend back is in your mind, then you need be ready to follow certain rules and methods in order to succeed. All you need to have is the right attitude and the right tools to bring back the love and passion in your relationship.

Most women who just broke up with their boyfriends usually cry over the situation for weeks and think about the precious moments they shared in the past, making it even harder for their everyday lives. What you need to do is contemplate on what happened, the things that went wrong and how to fix the problem. Though it is comprehensible to feel weak and devastated all the time, remember that if you really want to get your ex boyfriend back, you must forget about being so melodramatic and instead act on a solution now.

The minute you are done with the drama, it is time to pull yourself together and concentrate on clearing your mind. Understand that this process may take time, energy and a lot of effort but you need to avoid keeping in touch with your former lover. It does not matter if you terribly miss him and you want to know what is going on his life but do not make that first call. Never trust your own feelings if you really want to get your ex back into your life.

As you go along with your life without doing any effort to contact him, you will realize that it is getting much clearer for you because the more you stay strong, the less panic and longing you will feel. Once you controlled your panic, everything will be a lot easier and all the worries and crazy thoughts you had will be gone. This time, you will be able to formulate effective ideas on how you can get him back.

After dealing and controlling your emotions, you are now ready to start planning and preparing to reconnect with your former lover. This stage may be difficult for most people because they start doubting themselves as well as their plans on getting their ex boyfriends back. However, if you really love the person and you think your relationship deserves another chance, there is no reason for you to be hesitant.

In order to get your ex boyfriend back, it is essential to have a certain rule, follow it and stick with it. Be positive and never get discouraged even if you made some mistakes in the past. Remember that what matters most is the fact that you are strong enough to face your dilemma and deal with it.

Here are some things you need to know in getting your ex boyfriend back. By doing these suggestions, you will have a higher chance that your ex boyfriend will be coming back to you in no time.

Always remember that men will always be men and they will always be engrossed with sexy, beautiful and appealing ladies. Now that your relationship is over, you can deal with the pain by having a makeover. It is not only to let your boyfriend know what he's been missing but it is also a good move for you. Try on some new fashion, change your hair style and head to the gym.

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Get Your Ex Back! How to Bring Out Those Dormant and "Hidden" Feelings That Your Ex Has For You

2009-09-18T05:35:00.001-07:00

It's been six months after your break up yet you still find it hard to look for someone new. After months of being loveless, you realize that you are still in love with your ex and you want him badly. You asked your friends about your ex and you've found out that your ex hasn't dated anyone else yet. Your heart pounded because you're thinking that your ex still might have feelings for you too. Find out how to bring out the feelings.

Call your ex. The best way to start getting your ex back is to bring back the communication, so it would help if you will call your ex. Ask your ex about his current situation and try to squeeze out information as much as you can but don't make it appear like you're investigating. Observe some hints that your ex is still interested in you.

Invite your ex for a simple dinner. After you've brought the communication back, it would help if you will initiate to invite your ex for a simple dinner. Make it a point that your ex will not turn down the offer, so it would be nicer to invite your ex in his free days. During the dinner, talk about the happy moments during your relationship and give simple but not obvious comments about how you want those moments back. Don't just be contented with one dinner; it would be best if you will frequently invite your ex for dinner.

Once you have dated with your ex several times and you feel that you are already at ease with asking him about the relationship again, then it would help if you will be frank enough to ask your ex about his opinion in giving the relationship a second chance. If your ex agrees, then it's your chance to compensate for your shortcomings before and change for the better.

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Ways to Tell a Guy Likes You - 5 Reliable Signs of Male Attraction

2009-09-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

Listen up, girls! You don't have to waste precious time biting your fingernails or converging with your friends to figure out whether a guy is interested in you or not. There are ways to tell a guy likes you; and lucky for you, I'm sharing these tell-tale signs right now from a guy's (and master persuader's) point of view.

Aside from buying you a drink or introducing himself face to face, there are other ways to tell a guy likes you. They include either of the following:

1. Raising of the eyebrows
When a man sees a girl he likes, his immediate reaction is to raise and lower his eyebrows. It usually happens very quickly, so most women don't really notice it. However, knowing what you know now, I'm sure you'll have an easier time catching this tell-tale sign.

2. Closeness of space
One of the reliable ways to tell a guy likes you is by how close he's sitting or standing next to you. If a man is interested, he'll make sure there's not much of a distance between your bodies. For example, if you and your friends all decide to go out for dinner, the guy who likes you will most probably try to take the seat next to you or across from you.

3. Teasing of friends
When a guy likes another girl, his friends will most likely tease him about it. So don't take his friends' jokes too lightly. You'll never know what hidden message they contain. Of course, it's also best to keep up appearances. Don't let them know that you're onto them, so you'll have more time and opportunities to decipher what the teasing is really all about.

4. Enlargement of pupils
One of the dependable ways to tell a guy likes you is when his pupils enlarge. If you're close enough, you can see just how much a person is into you. Likewise, if his pupils are narrow, then he probably doesn't fancy you that much. Try looking at your own pupils in the mirror, so you'll know what kind of reaction you're supposed to be looking for.

Note: Pupils enlarge in a dark room, and become smaller in a bright room. So consider these factors too when interpreting his level of attraction to you.

5. Sudden nervous habits
Guys tend to become nervous around girls they admire. So if a guy friend suddenly becomes a klutz around you, or if he finds himself stuttering and unable to form coherent sentences, then you know what I'm talking about.

These are just some of the proven ways to tell a guy likes you. You can use these methods without the risk of embarrassing yourself or the other person.

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You Need to Stop Texting - Now!

2009-09-07T08:23:00.001-07:00

This digital age is a marvel of technology... and I'm not trying to change your life in one single way... except:

STOP texting the guys you like!

He texts you, you reply and text him back, maybe you have long text conversations that really go nowhere. Or maybe a couple of months of cell phone texting being the main form of communication, through whatever mobile types of phone you use.

"Texts" are just hints to a whole story. They are nudges that try to turn into something. Emotionless words typed from a guy that just can't be bothered to dial you up and actually talk to you on your voice.

The guy you like, he likes to text you a lot. Why?

You want to read this now:

- Stop Texting, they have your phone number, make them use it, and call you back promptly. But don't answer the text for a minimum 24 minutes.

And keep your reply short to this: Say "Call me back from your phone, no texts right now please."

Now he has to talk with you, verbally. No more hidden meanings and unknown answers, better verbal and voice tone clues, complete with nervous silences and "hems and haws" waiting for words to come out of his voice box.

Pay particular attention to the way he says what he says. Listen to the tone of his voice. Use these verbal clues and his open/closed body language when you're in front of him.

This will tell you much more than you could ever get from a text message.

Ask any body language expert, and she'll tell you that communication is 90% non-verbal, 10% verbal. When you are face-to-face with a person you can decipher their body language and, right or wrong, you form a realistic image of them in your mind.

When talking with someone on the phone, your ability to decipher what they mean, the emotion in their words, is curtailed. Not so much information comes your way but you instinctively can decode their emotions through the tone of their voice. Happy, sad, angry, worried, it's all revealed through the vocal cords, the breaks in the flow of words, etc.

When you're texting someone, you lose the majority of the ways you can identify with what the person is going through at the moment they are sending you that text message.

When you receive the text message, well, a bit of fantasy invades your logic center and you immediately, based on past experience with the person and (a big AND) you add the emotions you assume are hidden behind the words.

Is he happy, sad, angry, shy, pensive, worried, excited, adventurous? The text doesn't tell you, so you automatically add the emotions, or lack of emotions, to the text you received.

And, surprisingly, your imagination fills in the required emotions that were not sent in the message. Here are few examples of text that there are very little clues to what is behind the words:

What are you doing? Do you want to do something later?blah blah blah And you automatically fill in these emotionless words to something more pleasurable to handle. Sometimes not so accurately too.

Here are the rules for relationships and texting:
- text messaging are only allowed if it's an emergency
- text messaging cannot continue beyond receiving his message and you texting him back telling him exactly when to call you back. No matter what message he texted you, reply a few minutes later (you don't want to think you're just sitting around waiting for him to contact you, right?) and always say this: "Call me in 10 minutes (or another designated time) and make sure he sticks to that call and time.

- If he doesn't know what to do together "later on" you MUST have a chosen thing to do. Example: he calls you after texting you. He says "Do you want to do something later?" and you should reply, always, with a plan "I want to go to the 7:20 movie and then have a dessert after the movie. Pick me up (or meet me at...) 6:30pm. See you then, by."

As a woman dating the usual guy that doesn't have a clue about how to treat women, then it's you have have to step up and make the choices when he can't or won't:

You choose what and where to go. If he "hems and haws" about anything, gives you a "whatever" or "some other time", just say "Oh, that's OK, I can get one of my girlfriends to go with me" and end the conversation quickly. And go according to your plan.I want you to know this secret:

Guys are very fragile creatures with their emotions being something they don't understand, for the most part. They are extremely afraid of any type of rejection from a woman, especially any woman they have an interest in.

And here's another secret, one you can use any time, all the time.

Everyone is more scared than you are, all the time.

Everyone is afraid of rejection.

Unless you're some type of a "freak or geek" people need human companionship to survive. And that fear of rejection, of not being respected, not being admired by your peers. Everyone is more scared than you are.

So no matter how nervous you are, everyone else is more nervous. Knowing this should give you much more confidence and power in your everyday life, especially when meeting new people. Stare past their facade and know that they are more scared than you are.

You'll be a winner from now on! And get what/who and where you want.

Back again to the topic at hand.

When you can end the hold of your texting habit and convert those messages from a guy into a follow-up call fro him, you will gain the upper hand in the budding relationship and have better control over the things you do, with him as a boyfriend, because you've been strong and laid down the ground rules for how to you will be treated, how he will respond to your requests.

I am sure that he doesn't ask you to go places. He might "hem and haw" or give you the old "well, what do you wanna do?"

This is where you have to be prepared and have a plan ready. You respond "I want to go here for dinner then go see this movie". You have a plan. You are a strong and decisive woman.

If you're just starting to hang out together, plenty of text have been exchanged BUT if you ask him if he'd like to do something then he's got to check with his friend(s), and see if you can join them, with all these emotions and textsall these texts flying around and you're last in the look. That sucks. You're fifth wheel or worse!

In this article I have been discussing how women can make men, grown men, decide to do what it is that you want to do, (keep sex out of dating because you need to understand each other before you take this step of making a baby!) and remember that I am the person saying that it's OK for you to do this (I'm the guy that's on your side!).

Think about texting messages again:

It's SMS communication of common words that have different abbreviations so that you can make a long message short. Very convenient to get messages to the right people and fast responses. Teens and twenty-somethings live and die by text messages.

Well, maybe not die but certainly live by the next message. That's good, that's what Twitter and texting is all about.

It is not about romance, daring, planning a life with that special someone.

Do you want to know why?

Because texting allows only a small 2 - 4%of the total communication emotional and logical content to come through and with that low of emotional content there is also a corresponding lowering of the "rejection fear" guys have with women.

Most guys have an insane fear of rejection by women.

This is why guys prefer texting to other forms of communication.

Email and text. It's safe, quick and you don't have to deal with the fact that you're putting the other person in a spot where they may disagree, make a face at you, and just walk away. Rejection at it's finest.

Texting does not allow such a close contact, thus no fear of rejection on his part.

While this may seem to be playing guys on a line... trust me, every guy likes to be helpful and gain more approval just like a small puppy, but you need to to be the strong one. Guys, for the most part, want a girl to put them in their place, to challenge them, and, of course, love Click Here!">them.

You can do this, now you know the Click Here!">secret.

Put it to work, change your life.

ADVISE:
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Fun Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

2009-09-07T08:09:00.000-07:00

Do you want to know a few fun questions to ask your boyfriend? Do you not know how to go about it without making him think you are crazy? How about trying to make it enjoyable for you both. Boyfriends are considered one of the most special people on earth but can you honestly say that you really know everything about him? Have you ever thought that there might be a few fun questions you would like to ask? Well, here are a few fun questions to ask your boyfriend.

1. Would you like to have more than one relationship at a time?
2. If you could be any animal what would it be and why?
3. What is a song that makes you think of me when you hear it and why?
4. Would you cook for me?
5. We are on vacation in the mountains together just you and I would you wear pajamas to bed?
6. Can you describe yourself to me in one sentence?
7. Would you go camping with me in the middle of the nowhere?
8. If you saw a field full of flowers would you pick them for me?
9. If you could choose a nick name for me what would it be and why? This is one of the most fun questions to ask your boyfriend.
10. If a bear came up and was trying to eat us would you run or try to fight it off for me?
11. If we were at a party and a cute girl came up and was flirting with you what would you do?
12. If I caught you in a lie how would you react?
13. If you could change one thing about me what would it be and why?
14. Do you have the patience to go shopping with me even if it took all day?
15. What is one thing that attracted you to me and why?

These are a few fun questions to ask your boyfriend. You shouldn't be afraid to ask him questions. It is the only way you can find out more about them. This could continue till the morning and remember laughter is a good way to keep your relationship strong.

How to Seduce Any Woman You Want - And Attract Her Like a Hot Magnet

2009-09-07T07:56:00.000-07:00

What are the secrets in becoming the guy that women fall for in an instant? The answer is actually quite easy. What men don't understand is that women don't only fall for men who are good-looking and ultra-rich.

In fact, any guy can get inside a woman's head and heart just by gaining her trust and leaving a lasting impression. Keep reading to understand the concepts of seduction and turn your woman of choice into your girlfriend.

How To Seduce Any Woman You Want - And Attract Her Like A Hot Magnet

Tip #1. Be Daring. Successful men are those who dare to approach the women they are interested in. These guys do not opt for second best; they go for the hottest women in the room with the complete belief that they can make her fall for him.

Tip #2. Be Confident. Never let insecurities get to your head. Put some effort into improving how you look and learn how to place yourself in a position where women can see you. This means mingling at parties to get exposed to the kind of women you'd like to date.

Tip #3. Be Sensitive. Several men believe they know what women want before considering the more obvious things. Women want men they can open up to without any reservations.

Although women try to be cool during conversations, you can break her cool demeanor by employing hypnotic methods like fractionation. This particular method can make girls depend on you emotionally, which is essential if you want her to connect with you in an instant - less than fifteen minutes!

Fractionation is known to be a super effective method which is famous for its abilities to turn emotionally healthy women into stalkers. Who knows - one day a master seducer could just seduce Michelle Obama into leaving her husband using this particular technique. I won't be surprised at all!

But before you use this technique, you must heed this warning...

Fractionation is considered as a 'dark art' tactic which is the basis of hypnosis-based seduction, and while controversial, it is known to be one of the most effective tactics ever invented by underground seductionists.

How to Instantly Make Any Girl Like You! You Will Never Struggle Around Women After This

2009-09-03T08:11:00.000-07:00

A lot of guys out there are in search of ways to be able to attract more women. After all, the saying collect and collect, then select does not only apply to girls, but to their male counterparts as well. Attracting more women is beneficial in a guy's hassle free search for the ultimate girl of his dreams. Therefore, such a want is perfectly human and may even prove to be very important to a man's dating, love and sex life. If this making many girls adore you is the primary reason you are on this page, you are in luck! Below are three tips that will make girls like you.

Look your best: Here is a universal truth: Attraction starts with a guy's physical appearance. You will never appear attractive if you look terrible. No one will put interest in you if you don't appear to have even some slight interest in your appearance. Even Brad Pitt will no longer look good if he won't be able to keep his good looks through proper grooming. Therefore, it is highly critical that you keep yourself presentable (if not good looking) to be ready to face any girl, any time.

Be confident: Confidence is one of the keys to success in any life endeavor. A shaky knee and stammering speech won't give you fortune- a good fortune and gift of gab would. Therefore, stock on your confidence meter by keeping yourself presentable all the time and having some stored knowledge constantly ready for use.

Be funny: Be humorous. A guy who is full of humor is attractive. Similarly, a guy who can make a girl laugh is always a crowd favorite. Having fun with girls won't be possible if you would keep your happy feet from moving. Besides, girls would never ever want to be around with guys who will only bore them to death.

Now Listen Carefully-
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